Tweet of the Week; Headline of the Week

We miss the days before the internet, the days when the library would convert your daily newspaper to microfilm.

We’re old.

So with that caveat, here is our favorite tweet and favorite headline of the week. By which we mean to say, our least favorite tweet and headline of the week.

And yes, we know that Elon doesn’t call them “tweets” anymore, but fuck him. He doesn’t own us. Oblivioni is and will remain a fiercely independent voice against America’s oligarchy. Unless someone offers us a whole bunch of money to sell.

Tweet of the Week

Sunday was Father’s Day! At one time, these kinds of things brought Americans together. Whether one voted for Ike or Adlai, we could all agree on the importance of Father’s Day.

And Donald Trump, our last president and probably our next president, really knows how to tug on our heartstrings on this, one of the most important minor holidays.

Aside from his policies, which maybe you understand and maybe you like, do you really want this voice in your head for next four years, or maybe more? Is this really the environment you want to live in?

Headline of the Week

This next headline is important. How important? Watergate important.

Given all that — Watergate and everything — one would think that Matt Murray broke the scoop for WaPo. In case you haven’t been paying attention, Matt Murray is the new editor at the Washington Post, and people are alarmed.

Matt Murray — is he losing his touch?

But instead of publishing this very important report, Matt Murray is publishing a four-part series on the correct pronunciation of quesadilla, an eleven-part series on why beans make you fart, and a twenty-two-part series on the health benefits of Cheese Whiz.

That doesn’t seem important to us. This seems important to us.

The best headline of the week, maybe of all time. But did we read it in Matt Murray’s Washington Post? No, we had to look at EW online.

We are just awfully disappointed in Matt Murray’s tenure at the Washington Post. The $7M annual salary they pay him is apparently money badly misspent, if he cannot even bring us the latest news about Karl Urban’s butthole.

We don’t know who Karl Urban is, but thank God, now we know all about his butthole. No thanks to Matt Murray or his Washington Post.


Image by Kalyee Srithnam. Photograph of Matt Murray, public domain.

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