Alon Preiss, on the Hunter Biden and Donald Trump Verdicts

As everyone knows by now, Hunter Biden has been found guilty of lying about his drug use on a federal gun purchase form, some years ago.

Hunter (I will refer to him by his first name, to avoid confusion) had tried to negotiate a plea deal, but Republican opprobrium and a Trump-appointed judge scuttled it. Any leniency would be seen as corruption, and so Hunter went to trial, in the sort of case that almost never goes to trial.

The specific legal question at issue was whether Hunter knew he was lying when he said on the form that he was not using drugs. He was not, after all, actually smoking a crack pipe while he was in the gun store filling out the form. But there was plenty of evidence that Hunter was using crack constantly during this period of time, and his defense wasn’t believable. He clearly knew he was lying when he completed the form. So the verdict was correct. Only jury nullification could have saved him.

But in this case, jury nullification would have been the only just result. The crime was years ago, he disposed of the gun almost immediately, and he has since turned his life around. There was no reason to bring this particular crime to trial, other than to embarrass Hunter’s dad. Who is president, by the way.

So while MAGA judges delay most of Trump’s trials, a MAGA judge rushes Biden fils to the Big House.

Predictions, Anyone?

I predict that the MAGA judge in the Hunter Biden case will throw the book at him, and he will get very close to the maximum of 25 years. He will try to plead in his upcoming tax case, but she will not permit any sentence under which he would ever go free again; MAGA-world wants to see Hunter Biden die in prison.

MAGA-world will justify the extreme sentences as retribution for Donald Trump’s very unfair treatment during his own recent trial.

Meanwhile, the studiously reasonable Judge Juan Merchan, who presided over the Trump trial in New York, will sentence Trump to probation with no jail time.

Trump will announce that he has been “fully exonerated.”

MAGA-world will amplify this message, the American public will overwhelmingly believe that Trump’s verdict has been overturned and that he is innocent, they will falsely believe that the Hunter Biden verdict implicates the president in wrongdoing, and Trump’s lead in the polls will increase. 

Facing an economy that the American public falsely believes is in recession, an unemployment rate that the American public falsely believes is the highest in the history of the world, and a stock market that the American public falsely believes has collapsed under the weight of the rotten economy, Joe Biden will lose the election in the Fall.

The president will commute Hunter’s sentence (even though he promised not to) after President-elect Trump threatens a prison execution “when no one is looking” as “retribution.” While Trump will insist he was being “sarcastic” about the execution, the Biden family will leave the country for one of the dwindling number of nations not part of the MAGA authoritarian movement.

Maybe Bhutan? By 2025, Bhutan might be the only non-MAGA country left.

But I’m Not Partisan

Yes, I am appalled at the vicious prosecution of Hunter Biden. I am appalled that we’re putting a guy in prison who, as a tiny boy, witnessed the death of his mother and little sister, turned to drugs after his brother’s tragic death, then turned his life around after absolutely sinking to rock bottom.

The arc of his life is something we should praise.

The prosecution had the chutzpa to use Hunter’s inspiring memoir, in which he detailed his recovery from crack addiction, against him.

But I don’t celebrate the Trump verdict, either. I am also appalled that we convicted a politician for paying off his blackmailer. If there’s one thing a guy should be allowed to do, it’s pay off his blackmailer. So it’s not partisan. We’ve lost all perspective in this country. At one time, Dems and Republicans worked together for the good of the nation, but today we will do anything we can to destroy each other.

I mean, if it’s suddenly illegal to pay hush money to a porn star and buy a gun while high on crack, then none of us is safe!

Just kidding.

I actually woke up feeling very optimistic this morning.


Alon Preiss is the author of two highly acclaimed novels in a loosely linked trilogy, In Love With Alice and Flash of Blue Sky, both of which were published by Chickadee Prince Books but are now out of print. The books are still available, used, on the web. He receives no money if you buy one, but he would like you to buy one. His new novel, He Knew Her Once / Long Ago, was under contract with Chickadee Prince Books, but after languishing for years, the book has now been canceled. It will not be published until after his death, when he will be rediscovered as an overlooked genius.

Image by tada/pixabay.

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