Are you anticipating or dreading 2024? Judging from the word on the web (and is there any other way to gauge the mood of the nation), most Americans are holding their collective breath and shutting their eyes.
Will 2024 be terrible? Or the best year ever?
We think it will be the best year ever.
Or at least we are looking for reasons to be happy. Why not at least try to be happy?
Here are five reasons to be happy, plus a bonus reason, just for you, because we think you’re terrific.
You’ll eat a lot of chocolate in 2024 — on doctor’s orders!
Every year you resolve to eat more fruits and vegetables. Well, we have good news: chocolate is a superfruit. Forget the five-a-day rule; your doctor tells you to eat more fruits and vegetables, it turns out you’ve been doing it all along. “Mission accomplished!” as a wise man once said.
Bonus points for coffee: also a fruit.
A relative you can’t stand won’t be coming to Thanksgiving in 2024.
A lot of relatives you don’t like will be there. But you’re a pretty unpleasant person, and there are a lot of people you don’t like. So just looking at the odds, there’s probably someone you don’t like who won’t be there. So while you are suffering through conversations with your tedious, odious relatives, think about an awful person who isn’t there, and be thankful.
Great news for 2024!
Luxury high-rise apartments will be more affordable than ever.
The luxury apartment of your dreams can be yours for only pennies a day in a lively city full of restaurants and crazy nightlife: Pyongyang! You can easily march straight into the penthouse of an 80-story luxury building and live the life of a king. Because of daily blackouts, you’ll have to take the stairs, but that just means you’ll be in the best shape of your life within weeks.
Face it: you hate your horrible apartment, so why not telecommute from Pyongyang in 2024?
Someone will be elected president, and someone will be really happy about it.
Americans are almost evenly divided between the left and the right, and they are enthusiastically divided. Politics means so much to almost everyone that we are elated when our candidate wins and enraged when our candidate loses. And every election we’ve had for years has been nearly a tie. No one is ever dissuaded.
This means that, whoever wins the presidential election, around half of Americans will be thrilled, they’ll feel like they won the lottery. Somewhere, joy will be in the air, people will take to the streets in celebration. Maybe not where you live, but isn’t it nice to know that somewhere, someone will be really happy?
You’re probably going to Bhutan.
Everyone’s going to Bhutan these days. So you probably are, too. It’s a great place! You’re really going to have a nice time.
And the number one reason that 2024 will be amazing:
Miss Scarlet and the Duke is coming back with all new episodes!
According to the Public Broadcasting System, “It’s almost time to travel back to Victorian England for Miss Scarlet and The Duke Season 4, jam-packed with more drama, puzzling crimes and hilarious banter…. Sleuths and mystery fanatics, mark your calendars for the Miss Scarlet and The Duke Season 4 premiere on Sunday, January 7, 2024, at 8/7c only on MASTERPIECE on PBS (followed immediately by the Season 4 premiere of All Creatures Great and Small at 9/8c).”
How will everything work out for Eliza at Nash & Sons? Will the always almost-budding romance between Eliza and curmudgeonly Inspector Wellington finally blossom, now that Arabella is out of the running? Will the banter be truly as hilarious as promised?
We have a feeling that this will make 2024 worth sticking around.
Happy New Year, everyone.
Content by Oblivioni. Image by Dariusz Sankowski / Pixabay.